A NEW DATING app has launched to connect people who like to spend huge amounts of money on games with hundreds of miniatures and disappointing gameplay.
Backr has over 15,000 members, all of whom have wasted their money filling their houses with massive boxes containing games that will only ever get played twice, then sit there gathering dust until they are put onto eBay in six years time where they will sell for a pittance.
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A man has become manically convinced that this evening his twelve game losing streak of Imperial Settlers will come to an end, and nobody knows where he is getting his confidence from.
Bobby Kerr, 36, is resolute he is going to win, and has spent the afternoon telling his opponent and work colleague Alan Brown, 42, that he is going to take him down.
An insider said: “It’s incredible. Bobby’s self-belief is an amazing thing to behold. And it is all the more impressive because there is absolutely no reason for it.
“Bobby has not won a game of Imperial Settlers since Alan first taught him how to play it, back in January, on a staff away-day. But Bobby has admirably refused to let that reality influence his prediction in any way whatsoever.
“Every week, Bobby cockily predicts victory for himself, and refuses to change his ways when he is proved wrong, week after week . He’s just so inspiring.”
“Bobby does not even need to practice the game or read strategy guides. His supreme confidence just seems to come naturally. He should do motivational speaking.
“Sometimes he seems to flag a little but then he goes to the bathroom, and he comes out absolutely ebullient. I think he is talking to himself in the mirror.
The insider added: “If the result could be decided by whoever did the most aggressive trash-talk, Bobby would be certain to win. Unfortunately, it isn’t.”
An insider has revealed that the decades-old practice of showing chess games in movies with the board set up the wrong way round is a deliberate ploy designed to wind up nerds in the audience.
The source said: “Everybody knows that when you set up a chess board you make sure the corner square to your right is a white square. Do you really think that when film makers get it wrong that it’s by accident? They’re doing it on purpose, mate!
“Ha ha … mate … geddit?
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A man who has invited three friends round to his home to play the board game Terra Mystica has failed to memorize the rules in advance.
Bryan Robson, aged 23, bought the game from internet retailer Chaos Cards, two days ago, believing that this would give him plenty of time to familiarize himself with the mechanics. However, thanks to a leak under the kitchen sink and an unexpected visit from relatives, he was unable to find the time to go through the manual.
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An area man who has been accused of shamelessly ripping off a famous satirical website says he has never even heard of The Onion.
Steve Dee, aged 26, has denied copying the style and tone of “America’s Finest News Source” for the Gaming News section of TicketToCarcassonne.com, his board gaming website, which regularly attracts as many as ten readers per day.
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