BOARD GAMES are brilliant and if you disagree you must have something wrong with you, according to experts.
Boardgameologist Barry Venison said: “Sitting around a table and thinking about what you are going to do when it’s your turn is one of the greatest thrills imaginable. Also, you can drink alcohol while playing, and get completely hammered if you want to. If that isn’t enough for you then you’re operating on a level of jaded I can’t actually comprehend.”
Mr Venison, professor of studies at The Institute of Academia, has proposed that in future, anyone caught bemoaning the lack of action in board games should be forced into a re-education camp.
He said “Anyone continuing to doubt that modern board game design is the pinnacle of humankind’s achievement will be sent away and forced to watch footage of Wil Wheaton’s Tabletop series, and challenged to name anything that seems half as appealing.
“Then, for contrast, they will be forced to watch videogamers playing Red Dead Redemption for four hours straight, and instructed to write a poem about how miserable they all look.
Former videogame fan Charlie Hurley agreed: “I used to dismiss board games as being just for old men, but then I realised that what I was actually saying was it had a bit of dignity about it, and didn’t require the attention span of a mayfly. So from now on I will only be playing board games”
“But not Monopoly, obviously.”