Bad Bad Reviews

These are my “favourite” negative reviews for board games. All are genuine one star reviews from forums and online retailers.

I just want to say thanks to these people who took time out of their busy schedules to share their well thought-out opinions with the world.

one-star-frown

Takenoko
“I don’t like board games.  I don’t know why I bought this really.”

Carcassonne
“I love board games, like Monopoly.  But this is nothing like Monopoly. Very disappointed.”

Ticket to Ride
“Beautiful game, IMPOSSIBLE to figure out. Completely unplayable, adults and kids (ages 8 and 9) have tried and tried to figure out the directions. What a shame, as they love trains.”

Pandemic
“The problem I have with this game is that it is not very realistic. Surely if a series of pandemics broke out, the World Health Organisation would assign more than four people to the job of containing it!”

Ticket to Ride (again)
“Package was left in a snow storm and box is now warped. Let Amazon know, but never heard back.”

Stone Age
“I had a very awkward moment when my eight year old started asking about why putting two meeples together in the hut made another meeple. I had been hoping to have another year or two before having to have that particular conversation. Thanks for that Z-Man!”

Istanbul
“Might be a fun game, but the name is heretical. Should be “Constantinople”. Saint Constantine is rolling in his grave because of this. One star.”

Sheriff of Nottingham
“Game is for liers and cheats. If your goal is to teach your children to lie, steal and bribe then you will like this game.”

7 Wonders
“We’ve just had our 4th attempt at getting to grips with his since Xmas. This time we managed to make it to page 5 of the manual before deciding to do something simpler, like proving Fermat’s last theorem or building a quantum computer out of Mecanno.”

Flash Point: Fire Rescue
“In my excitement at playing this game I turned into a bossy douche and ruined the game for all my friends.”

Pandemic (again)
“I’m sure this product is great and lots of fun… However the game that was sent to me is in Spanish. I put it to my group of friends that we should all learn Spanish in order to play. Unfortunately its Spain’s fault we all have no lettuce right now (true story) therefore the vote failed.”

Hope you enjoyed those. If anyone has other “favourite” reviews, please let me know.

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